We’ve all walked down that familiar path before – the “I’ll be happy when” mind trip. You know how it goes, once I (fill in the blank) all will be right with the world. This habitually way of thinking takes us out of the moment and keeps us thinking we need something in order to be whole.
Then we open any magazine, go on facebook or email, turn on the tv, talk with well-intended family/friends/loved ones, and the fixes come flying at us as if we are in wind tunnel – you’d better hold on to something. Buy this new miracle product that will cure all that ails you, sign up for this training program and learn the secrets of success, try this new food or exercise program and drop that weight once and for all. And, don’t wait because it’s only available at this amazing price of something you probably can’t really afford right now for a limited time, so act now!
All of this leaves us feeling inadequate, and we may even feel like a loser because we can’t possibly afford that something that’s gonna fix us. So our mind starts trying to rationalize how we can put the purchase on our credit card which may open up another can of worms (we’ll talk about how our financial situations are often a reflection of our worthiness in another blog). Even if we can afford this new product/service, we can’t imagine where we’re going to find the time to fit it into our already overflowing schedules. Am I the only personal development junkie out there with books and programs untouched on my shelf?
Well I’m going to share something with you. Drum roll, please…ready…here goes – YOU ARE NOT BROKEN and YOU DON’T NEED TO BE FIXED!! Yep, that’s right! Nothing on the outside is going to FIX you simply because you are not broken!
Take a minute to let this sink in. Deep breath in, deep exhale out, again.
There is sooooo much going on around us, constantly competing for our attention, often making us feel that we need something to fix our brokenness. This fuels our feelings of not being good enough, lack of self-worth, and fear of missing out (FOMO).
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing the wonderful products and services out there. There are many that often find their way to us just at the right time. What I am talking about is the overabundance of messages that are constantly telling us we need something outside of ourselves to fix us.
Essentially, we have been picking up messages from the world around us from a very young age that have molded our beliefs about ourselves and who we think we are supposed to be. This process of looking outward has disconnected us from the truth of who we are.
We’ve forgotten, or perhaps never learned how to tune in, listen to, and trust our inner wisdom! This learned version of who we think we are supposed to be is often not in line with our true self. Heck, many of us have been living this perceived version of who we think we are supposed to be for so long that we have forgotten who we are deep down inside.
In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown tells us that love and belonging are essential to the human experience. She shares that the one thing that separated those who felt a deep sense of love and belonging from those struggling for it is the belief in their worthiness.
Brené says, “if we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.” She continues, “When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness – the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness – that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging – lives inside our story.”
She also wrote, “How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a wholehearted life: loving ourselves.”
We are not broken. We don’t need to be fixed. We do need to remind ourselves that we are worthy of love and belonging and that we best serve ourselves, and therefore those around us, when we live and own our story.
Everything circles back to self-love, EVERYTHING!
Loving and honoring ourselves is not selfish, it’s absolutely essential to living a wholehearted life.
Having a strong sense of self-worth not only roots us in self-love, it allows us to honor and trust our inner wisdom and embrace who we are.
